The Union Metrics Employee Handbook, Volume I

Hibernation is unpaid. [1]

The history of pojos. [2]

We have a stapler. [3]

Do not mention the song “What Is Love.” [4]

You shouldn’t eat ugly people. [5]

Doctors come after earls, but perhaps not knights or dames. [6]

The use of modulus is prohibited. [7]

It goes without saying that Jenn is not to be licked. [8]

Making Marianne cry is grounds for termination. [9]

Jazz Hands Hayes. [10]

Section B-3, Class 3 Mandomergency Protocol: Obtain air support from Camp Mabry. [11]

Business. [12]

High fives from Marianne are worth one thousand dollars. [13]

Our X, they’re Y. [14]

There are no regulations concerning cannibalism. [15]

Who to blame in case of issues. [16]

On nudes. [17]

Murder and theft is, in most cases, against company policy. [18]

Addendum: Employees must use the Campfire avatar hack. [19]

Section VII: High Five ASCII Rules. [20]

Bathroom breaks are not permitted. [21]

Section LVI: Required Knowledge Test I: Futurama and Archer episodes. [22]

Mac can’t access custom /etc/hosts domains?

TIL if the lines in your /etc/hosts file are too long — that is, there are too many aliases for a host on a single line — then at least Safari and curl, and probably the whole OS, will be unable to access those hosts. I had something like this: (all the way up to

Eventually I found that I could not access The solution was to rearrange /etc/hosts:

I hope this saves somebody some trouble.